When Your Whole Family F&*%$ Right Off - Powered by Keenan and Keenan! (Ep. 156)

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Also, I I've seen the
underwhelming mug, it's not

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underwhelming.
Oh fucking huge.

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Oh good.
Well, it's. 20 oz.

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I was like, let's get a big one.
I.

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Don't want you to ever do.
Well, I want a big coffee.

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How big is it?
It's.

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Huge.
That's what we wanted, right?

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We're going to sell a mug.
Get better.

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Enormous.
Yeah.

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This is due to underwhelming
demand, the podcast that very

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easily could have been called
Project Hail Mary.

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We just didn't think of it.
Yeah, that is an excellent

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podcast name.
Now it's taken.

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So and an even better movie.
Yes, highly recommend.

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It Oh, did you see it?
It's really good.

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I want to go see it, actually,
yeah.

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Take your kids.
Yes, you could.

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It might be a little, you know,
over their heads, but yeah, it's

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great movie.
Yeah, but which one's more

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charming and heart warming, This
or that movie?

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Definitely that movie.
Definitely the movie.

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Anyway, this Less than Heart
Warming podcast is brought to

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you.
Brought to you this time around

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by Keenan and Keenan Handyman
Services.

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More about them later.
More about them later coming up

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on the podcast.
I've got some headlines.

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Okay, it's been a while.
Rachel wonders.

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Best birthday gift ever.
I I think so, but you'll find

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out.
Okay.

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That's all we get.
That's all you get, and then you

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can decide.
I feel like we're not going to

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agree, but.
Anyway and.

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We'll begin forming with.
A new game.

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A new game, OK?
We love to play games around

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here, yeah.
Sure, what foods do you not have

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to chew?
What?

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What foods do you not have to
chew?

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Yes, and when I first heard the
title of said game, I was as

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shocked as you were.
Who?

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Who's playing this game?
Because it was brought up during

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dinner the other night.
Oh.

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By chewing.
Yes, by my wonderful, beautiful,

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amazing wife, Ashley.
OK, you're.

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Throwing those in as you throw
her under the bus.

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She looks good under that.
She seems to be under there a

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lot in the context of this show.
Right.

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Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she's just.

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Did you guys ever play the game?
What foods do I not have to chew

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as we're all there chewing food?
I do not play that game.

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That's never occurred to me.
It's.

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Never even been a thought in my
mind, no.

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No.
And what did the kids say?

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They had no response.
They were too busy complaining

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about the food they were eating.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just

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dinner.
Eat it.

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Yeah, of course.
They.

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Didn't look the broccoli and
yeah, so your.

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Wife plays this game.
Yes, she was playing that game,

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chewing potatoes that evening
like mashed potatoes.

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No, they're like the little, you
know, the little tiny potatoes.

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Yeah.
We love those just cut up.

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But when you get 1 you can just
mush it in your mouth and

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apparently that's all she does.
It's the foods.

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Think of foods you can either
just mush with your tongue or

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swallow hole in.
Her first example beyond

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potatoes was Kraft Dinner.
You can just that can go

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straight down other kinds of
pasta.

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Soup.
Sure, definitely mashed

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potatoes.
Mashed potatoes.

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Yeah, you.
Have to chew a banana, don't you

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just?
Mash it with.

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Your I don't think you would
have.

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To chew it, you could just mush
it.

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I guess.
Yeah.

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What do you get?
A loss, Yeah.

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Yes, a smoothie here.
Smoothie is.

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That's a dream.
I don't think a smoothie counts

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well.
It used to be food.

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It's just.
Yes, but you're you're making it

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into something that you don't.
Have to but.

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That's different.
That's not the game.

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Yeah, no, that's not the game.
Blender if you have blenders

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involved and the game's over,
Yes, the game hasn't even

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started.
Yes, it doesn't count.

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I guess there's a lot.
I mean, of course there's lots

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of food that you don't have to
have to chew, but I don't I've

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never thought about.
Does she have a problem with

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chewing?
Nope, her teeth are fine.

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Does she dislike the motion of
chewing?

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Well, I did.
Perhaps because this Apparently

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she's been playing this since
she was a kid.

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I didn't know that.
Like.

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A thing, you know, if we think
of our inner monologues, I'm

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sure it's it's playing in her
head.

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Yeah, I have to chew these foods
for sure.

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Yeah.
Right, Yeah.

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I mean, I think, I think weird
things like that, but I've never

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thought that.
And usually you don't end up

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saying them out loud.
How many years married Foreman?

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How many years married?
It'll be 16 this year.

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There you go.
No, it was a trick question for

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me because you had to think.
About that.

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Well done.
Yeah, well, that's.

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I actually don't know how long
I've been married either and I

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think.
Why you get married in an even

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year 2010, so it's always easy
to figure out.

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Easy.
Sure.

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Good.
For you.

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A good answer, hopefully it's
the correct one because I don't

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know but is.
This the first time that you've

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heard her say this?
Yep, you've been together for

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almost 20 years.
Yeah, since 2007.

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Wow, and you've?
Never seen this.

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Never brought that up but she's
been doing it since she was a

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kid.
Yeah, I mean, I also have a

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notoriously terrible memory, but
I'm quite confident this time

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that this has never been
discussed before and it's very

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common in her head.
OK, well, because if she if she

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opened with do you ever, do you
ever play the game, then I would

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assume she's never brought this
forward before, even though she

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plays the game all the time.
She's caught.

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She's a constant gamer.
Yeah, yeah, but so is she trying

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not to chew generally?
I think that's what it is, yeah.

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I mean, I she hasn't laid down
on the couch here and I haven't

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had my notepad out to really go
through this.

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But I think that's my impression
is that if you are, if you're

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thinking about that so often,
then you're constant.

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Every food that goes into your
mouth, you're constantly testing

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whether or not you have to chew
it.

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Yes.
Yeah.

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And I don't know what the
purpose is.

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Like why don't you just chew?
Chewing is kind of, to me, part

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of the satisfying.
It's a satisfying part of

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eating.
You know, you get to taste the

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food a bit longer and just, it's
just a part of the whole

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experience, right?
Yes, kind of yes, I guess so,

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but apparently not with all
foods.

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Hmm, Well isn't there something
to it too?

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Where if you were to only have
liquids, like if you only had

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smoothies your whole life,
wouldn't your teeth start

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rotting and falling out?
You would think lack of use.

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Like if you don't, you don't.
If you don't use them, you lose

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them.
Like I've actually heard even

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though I do have smoothies, that
smoothies aren't great for you

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because you should be chewing
your bananas or your fruits or

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whatever.
Like it's better to chew it

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because I don't for I don't know
why you gotta forget the reason.

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Why the nutrients out of your
food?

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Yes.
Violently, yes, that could be.

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Why it's better to chew than to
blend it and drink it.

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Yeah, that could be why.
But I'm wondering with this game

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that your wife apparently has
been playing for a long, long

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time, you know, the whole potato
thing she's gone through that

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she's had to have gone through
the potatoes is one of those

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foods that you, you know what I
mean?

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Like wouldn't.
This get cooked well, you

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probably don't need to chew it,
but.

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Then I'm a.
Little scared that she'll take

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too big of a piece and she might
choke now, now that I know this.

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I don't.
I experience game players do not

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choke, no.
Right.

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I would think if you're if
you're good at this game, you're

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not doing that.
And it might turn into how much

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food can you mush at one time?
Like that might be an invitation

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to take you take more mashed
potatoes.

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How much can you cram to the
roof of your mouth?

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I think that's dangerous.
I think that's, I don't know, I

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don't love that.
The informal line make sure it

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doesn't even touch your teeth.
Now I'm a little formal line.

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Now I'm a little worried about
it.

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Yeah, you create a border.
I'm starting to see the merits

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of the game now that we.
Yeah.

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Well, you may have to try one
day.

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Yeah.
You guys should make one dinner

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that it's like a no chew dinner
and it's all foods that you

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don't have to chew.
What are you talking about?

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You could have potatoes, What
does soup You could have, I

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don't know, whatever else, apple
sauce.

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You're stacking the game.
That's cheating.

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Yeah, but it's just like a fun.
You don't have to.

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This is my no chew.
Dinner.

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No, because now it's not a game.
You look what you've done.

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You've taken a game, a fun game
maybe, that Ashley enjoys

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playing.
Yeah, yeah.

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And and now you're finding a way
to cheat it.

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No, it's not.
It's just an event.

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It's like a party here.
Let's all play this game on

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purpose.
To play anymore you've there's

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no game left if everything's
mush.

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Yeah, you mush everything.
That's called the nursing home

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foods.
Only certain, only certain foods

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can be mushed.
And so she the game is, can

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these things be mushed?
Well, she's figured it out

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because she's played at her home
whole life, so you might as well

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just have fun with it and have
it make a full dinner of no.

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Chew that's not having fun with
it, that's that goes against the

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game.
Yeah, that's what my nurse said.

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I don't.
Want you to try and and not chew

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like a piece of steak well,
that's not how to do that that's

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a dangerous game that.
That would be something that you

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you can't.
That's see, that's the game.

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But we all know that you're.
Trying to destroy the game.

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But if you have really tender
steak and you take a nice thin

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little sliver and you probably
could mush it around and.

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Actually cooked very well I've.
Never.

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I've never heard of this game
before, but now that you have

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brought it forward and we are
discussing it, I, I, the next

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time I eat, that's all I'm going
to be thinking about.

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Thinking the mashed potatoes
that are going to go beside your

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Easter ham.
Right.

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No, we have Turkey.
Nobody likes fucking ham.

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Whatever.
I think we're done.

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This is due to underwhelming
demand.

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It's a podcast with Dave, Rachel
and Foreman and it's brought to

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00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:44,160
you this time around by Keenan
and Keenan Handyman Services.

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00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,520
Yeah, they're getting ready for
spring over there.

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00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,000
So if you've got some spring
projects or summer projects,

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00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,760
maybe you want to get in line
because they're already booking

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up springs.
Here.

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00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,680
Yeah, Jen and Johnny Keenan are
are the Keenans and Johnny does

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all the handyman stuff, although
they've had to hire a couple of

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00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,560
new guys because they've really
been growing.

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00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,600
They could install a brand new
kitchen for you, they do IKEA

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00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,360
kitchens, they could install
flooring, they could fix up your

225
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,760
drywall, they could do anything
handyman ish around your house.

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Even a light fixture.
I've got some lights on the

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stairs that are way out of reach
for me and my ladder, OK.

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00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,520
And I'm and some of the bulbs
are starting to burn out and I'm

229
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,240
thinking I have absolutely no
way of getting up there, right?

230
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,560
Maybe Johnny?
'S got a big ladder and he could

231
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,280
help you out.
I think so, because every home

232
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,000
improvement project they do,
they believe should combine

233
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,040
safety, durability and
craftsmanship.

234
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,400
That's what you can count on,
that's what you can trust with

235
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,160
Keenan and Keenan.
So they started this business

236
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,600
when they were both on parental
leave and they wanted to explore

237
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,760
whether a handyman service was
something needed in the area.

238
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,280
And now today, Johnny.
Johnny never went back to his

239
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,440
job.
Turns out.

240
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:01,480
Turns out it was needed and so
now they do this full time.

241
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,480
This is their, this is their
thing and they're growing.

242
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,280
So if you need help around the
house, you can give them a call.

243
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,920
Give them, head to their
website, see what they do.

244
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:14,080
Keenan Handyman services.com is
their website.

245
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,600
You can give them a call.
We'll put that in the notes the

246
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:23,000
show notes below or e-mail
Keenan humanservices@gmail.com.

247
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:28,280
They serve Elgin, the whole area
really, in and around London,

248
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,440
southwestern Ontario.
So whether?

249
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,040
It's fixing a lingering issue,
refreshing a tired room, or

250
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,080
completing a long overdue
improvement.

251
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,120
They show up ready to do the job
right.

252
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,960
No shortcuts, no guesswork.
Honest people, if you need help,

253
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:47,280
give them a call.
This is due to underwhelming

254
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,800
demand.
The podcast it's almost Easter.

255
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,360
The podcast that is
nutritionally better for you

256
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,200
than peeps.
I yeah, I would say so.

257
00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,240
But only slightly.
We probably taste better too

258
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,640
because peeps are disgusting.
You don't even have to chew

259
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,640
them.
No, right?

260
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,480
That's a different.
That's that's we're back at that

261
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,320
game again.
I don't.

262
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,720
Know if you would chew peeps?
Like how sticky is that?

263
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,280
I don't know.
That is a good, that's a good

264
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,080
game.
Do I need to chew peeps?

265
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,720
I mean, I would have to eat a
peep to in order to play the

266
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,200
game and I don't want to pee
that.

267
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,200
Person eating.
I don't.

268
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,520
Love peeps?
No, I don't love peeps.

269
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:30,000
OK, well Speaking of candy and
maybe birthdays, I guess I'm

270
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,400
wondering if this is the best
birthday ever.

271
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,880
Is that not a good you could?
Have just said but I don't love

272
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,080
peeps but I do love birthdays
OK.

273
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,560
Come on, you know what, my brain
works differently than yours.

274
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,640
Like a peep.
Does it ever?

275
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,000
Does it?
Hey.

276
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,800
Hey.
Wow, Foreman, you've been told?

277
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,680
Yeah.
Yeah, OK, so anyway, best

278
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,840
birthday ever.
Best birthday gift ever.

279
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,560
Let's on to my thing.
Fucking right off.

280
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:59,600
Yeah.
Not not my number one birthday.

281
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,480
OK.
Actually, that is that is the

282
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,400
best birthday gift ever.
Yeah, when your whole family

283
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,200
fucks right off.
All right.

284
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,480
Is that the best birthday gift
ever?

285
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,240
OK, well, I guess.
I was talking with my friend.

286
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,000
I think we're done.
Is that it?

287
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,040
No, I'm telling you that's the
gift.

288
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,720
Actually found the real answer.
That is the gift, really.

289
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,800
Yes.
When your whole family fucks

290
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,400
right off, yes.
The gift that keeps on giving,

291
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,520
all for. 24 hours.
Yeah.

292
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,440
Is that the best birthday gift
ever?

293
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:33,720
I don't know.
You tell me.

294
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,240
I was talking to a friend of
mine who does listen to our

295
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,880
podcast and she actually said
you should talk about this.

296
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,240
See what other people think.
And you said fuck right.

297
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,720
Off and I said that's I think
that's brilliant.

298
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,960
I think it's brilliant.
Her name is Amber.

299
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,200
Shout out because she does
listen to us regularly and she

300
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,120
just had a birthday.
Happy.

301
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,960
Birthday, Amber.
Happy birthday, Amber.

302
00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:00,520
And she posted on Instagram some
videos of a hotel room and I and

303
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:04,200
here's and there's a birthday
cake in there and some gifts and

304
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,000
wine and whatever.
And I was like, oh, did you go

305
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,120
away for your birthday?
She's like, yes, I went away

306
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:16,120
alone to a hotel.
And I do this every year on my

307
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,920
birthday.
I go to a hotel by myself.

308
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,480
My husband and the kids are at
home.

309
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,160
They know that I'm leaving.
And actually for gifts, they

310
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,840
give her things like, you know,
face masks or spa things or a

311
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,040
bottle of wine or stuff that she
can just, you know, she's just

312
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:38,120
chilling in a hotel room for 24
hours by herself.

313
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,480
Best birthday gift ever.
Yes.

314
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,080
Yes.
No.

315
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,320
What?
No, no, I like.

316
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,560
I like.
That's amazing.

317
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,760
Hang around in your pajamas.
You can watch Netflix, drink

318
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,800
some wine, or read a book, maybe
uninterrupted.

319
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,520
Nobody's asking for mom, like
that's amazing.

320
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,240
Yeah, but then, well, if if I
wanted that, then you guys go

321
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,480
away.
I'll stay at home by myself.

322
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,600
I don't want to go to a hotel.
What I do I don't do room

323
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,360
service.
Now, why would I want to?

324
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,680
Why would I want that?
I've got a whole.

325
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,400
Pantry right here.
I got everything I need.

326
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,880
With grocery, who bought the
groceries for your?

327
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,800
You know, you know, I mean, if,
if, if in fact being isolated

328
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:34,760
and alone on your birthday is
something you desire, then ask,

329
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,440
go get a hotel room.
I I don't understand that.

330
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,720
I feel some kind of story of
like when you've had as many

331
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,440
birthdays as Mehee from Dave is
coming.

332
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,040
Not at all.
I, I'm not really, I didn't

333
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,240
consider myself a birthday
person.

334
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,880
Like my birthday would come.
You got a couple of gifts.

335
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,800
Maybe you, you know, maybe you
see somebody, maybe maybe you

336
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,080
don't and it's over with.
But the older I get, the more I

337
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,880
appreciate a birthday because,
well, you never know.

338
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,440
Could be the last, right?
Still have one?

339
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,400
Yeah, having.
A birthday is better than not

340
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,839
having a birthday.
Yes.

341
00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:18,760
So to spend a birthday alone
like that pretty much every day

342
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:23,240
I spend alone, I mean, but I'm
not in the same situation that

343
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:26,760
you guys perhaps are in.
Your kids are younger, you have

344
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,440
needier children, right?
My my.

345
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,960
Mine are quite needy.
Yeah, my my little one.

346
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:38,000
My kids really not that needy
not all she is she the the one

347
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,240
thing that she doesn't seem to
need is me so.

348
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,800
Yes, OK.
It's all fine.

349
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,640
She might like a hotel room by
herself.

350
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,480
I.
Don't know she well, she does

351
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,600
have a hotel.
She has a whole room to herself

352
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,400
and she spends most of her time
in there.

353
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,040
I have 0 rooms to myself at
home.

354
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,760
Even the bathroom is not to
myself.

355
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,080
Hardly ever.
I've either got a kid knocking

356
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,280
on the door or the dogs in there
and so I'm never alone.

357
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,720
You said what I am.
You wanted the dog you wanted.

358
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:07,760
The dog.
You wanted the dog.

359
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,960
You wanted the kids.
Yeah, well, I, I would like to

360
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,680
be alone sometimes.
And so I said to my friend,

361
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,480
well, what does your husband
think?

362
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,880
Like is he, she's like, well, I
think he was a little skeptical

363
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,120
at first, like he thought I was
cheating on him or something.

364
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,840
But now he's realized I'm not
obviously.

365
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,040
And and he's fine with it.
It's kind of our tradition.

366
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,880
That's my gift every year.
And, and, and then they play

367
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,000
into it by giving, you know,
things that she can use in the

368
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,600
room, like if she had a face
mask on or whatever.

369
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,320
So I was like, brilliant.
I think it's brilliant.

370
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:49,600
If my if my wife had desired
that I would be a little put out

371
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,080
by.
That would you be insulted?

372
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,360
Yes, I think so.
Yeah, I think so.

373
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,440
I mean, I'm not, you know, when
I.

374
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,040
Think Jeremy might be insulted?
Like I would say to him, like I

375
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,600
would love this, but I'm not
sure Jeremy would love it.

376
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,120
I'm not sure he would love if I
did that.

377
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,560
Yeah, I would never do that to.
I would never say to my wife,

378
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:14,160
hey, this year for my birthday,
could you get lost right now?

379
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,680
Like I just wouldn't say that
she's but you, you see?

380
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,920
No.
OK.

381
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,000
Like, I mean, whatever, it's the
same.

382
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,760
She's leaving.
Hey, this year for my birthday I

383
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,400
won't be here.
Right.

384
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,920
Oh, OK, I.
Kind of want to spend a day

385
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,400
because they.
Don't want to be with you, I

386
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,760
want to be by myself.
Well, I think she does.

387
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:37,000
I mean, obviously she loves her
family and she wants to, she is

388
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,400
with them all the time.
You know, she's a great mom and

389
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:43,040
a great wife, but you know, just
having some alone time to

390
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,160
yourself is also nice.
OK.

391
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,800
That's great, does anyone else
agree?

392
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,840
Well, I've got.
To I've got to know.

393
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,440
I'm sure that there would be
people that would agree, but.

394
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,360
You would be insulted.
Yeah, I I think it's quite

395
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,600
insulting, actually.
Yeah, very.

396
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,400
I don't think it's personal.
I don't think it's personal

397
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,120
against the husband.
I think it's just I want.

398
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,520
Time to myself, but it comes off
that way.

399
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,960
I guess so.
Well, I don't know.

400
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,480
I still love it.
It's, I think there's a hotel

401
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,160
that I love going to and they
have a package then I've never

402
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,080
done it, but I would love to and
it's called the Leave Me Alone

403
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,800
package.
Clearly, there's a mark.

404
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,800
For one person to go and you go
to the hotel, they bring you

405
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:28,040
pizza to your room, you get like
a movie rental or something like

406
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:32,480
that and you get a whole night
to just stay in the room by

407
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,680
yourself.
And I was like, that's I would

408
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,200
love that.
I would love it.

409
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,960
Clearly there's a market for it
or they wouldn't have the Leave

410
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,520
Me Alone package and I would
argue that it would be probably

411
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,960
99% female that would want that
package.

412
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,600
This.
Seems to be and and I, you know,

413
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:55,120
like I get why you would want to
be, you know, not bothered on

414
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,800
your birthday.
I get that right.

415
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:02,480
And that may that may be
something that Dad should impart

416
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,480
to the kids.
But kids, sorry, kids, just

417
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,480
don't get it.
They don't they?

418
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,360
Well, tomorrow's mom's special
day.

419
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,000
You have to be nice to her.
You want to leave her alone.

420
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,560
She wants some time to herself.
OK, Dad.

421
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,840
But they won't.
You know they won't.

422
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,120
They won't.
They won't like.

423
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,840
Maybe like in?
The other room sometimes and I'm

424
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,640
like, I'm having alone time, I'm
reading my book or whatever and

425
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,480
everybody's right beside me.
At least within. 5 minutes,

426
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,360
everyone's on my couch, sure.
I know, and maybe that's part of

427
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,560
the reason why maybe Dave and I
don't get it quite as much

428
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,240
because dads get plenty of alone
time.

429
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,800
Yes, we do.
We tend generally.

430
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,600
I'm rarely well, I'm alone
during the day because

431
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,040
everyone's at school and work,
but other than that I'm never

432
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,160
alone.
But you know, on one hand, this

433
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,600
also makes me think of plenty of
songs that have titles or

434
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,640
subject matter along the lines
of You're gonna miss this.

435
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840
Yeah.
OK, fine.

436
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,280
Yeah, fine.
And also, I think it's a great

437
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,840
birthday gift.
And.

438
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:01,080
Also, I had a birthday once at a
hotel that I thought was I was

439
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,160
just going to spend with Ashley
and I and Rachel's there and 30

440
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,440
other people there.
Yes, surprise, not doing what

441
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,160
you thought you were tonight.
Norman walks into the room with

442
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,440
what I did and his daddy opens
the door and he's like, oh shit,

443
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,080
yeah, that's.
Exactly right.

444
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:24,160
Comes Peter Cottontail hopping
down the on his trail.

445
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,760
Hippity Hoppity.
Happy Easter Day.

446
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,840
This is due to underwhelming
Demand with Dave, Rachel and

447
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,800
Foreman, the podcast that
reminds you if your kids like

448
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,840
the Easter Bunny, it's best not
to take them shopping in the

449
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,080
specialty meat section at Farm
Boy.

450
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,280
It's very true.
I know some people like that.

451
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,200
They had, they didn't have the
whole bunnies in there, but I

452
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,560
have seen them, yeah.
You know, minus the floppy

453
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,640
years.
But you can definitely make out

454
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:10,640
what kind of animal it was.
Well.

455
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,000
You know what other day?
Meat.

456
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,320
I don't want to make out what
kind of animal it was.

457
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:18,480
The other day they just had they
just had the legs in case that

458
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,000
you know, they're.
Big dude what?

459
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,040
A lot of meat on them.
All right, that's enough.

460
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,760
Your hind quarters, that's
enough.

461
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,600
What?
That's what.

462
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,160
It's called.
That's enough.

463
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,440
No, thank you.
OK, guess what?

464
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,920
It's time for headlines.
Great, let's get our mind off

465
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,360
these bunnies.
All Meat Edition.

466
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,600
All Meat edition.
That's right.

467
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,120
These are actual, these are real
headlines.

468
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,160
I don't make them up, no.
I don't have.

469
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,920
To I don't need to.
Lots of people have been sending

470
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,960
us headlines for you.
Oops, I just hit my.

471
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,280
Some of those are not real
headlines.

472
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,960
That's.
Part of the problem you're cross

473
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,320
checking now, yeah.
These are actual headlines.

474
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,720
Good, because I don't want to
have to make them up.

475
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:07,120
Foreman sends me headlines.
Yeah, like, and he loves to send

476
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,200
me ones from Guelph, so I like
to oblige him.

477
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,760
So we'll start with a Guelph
headline.

478
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,160
I.
Mean if they're going to make

479
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,600
themselves so available.
We're here, Here we go.

480
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:21,160
Guelph police warn public of
abandoned raw meat found in

481
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,560
park.
Don't choose the meat.

482
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,520
Is the meat edition.
See.

483
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,280
That's an actual headline.
What does the meat look like

484
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,280
though?
I don't really care.

485
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:34,600
Abandoned Bunny shaped meat.
Lonely, lonely meat, yeah.

486
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:35,840
Gross.
And what?

487
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,520
Why do you have to warn?
Like as if someone's going to

488
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,440
take it home and cook it.
You shouldn't have to.

489
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,680
Warn.
People about but I found.

490
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,760
This meat in the park, you would
people fire up the grill.

491
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,040
People take the roadkill and
they fire that up in the grill.

492
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,840
Yeah, you want that, dear?
Yeah, exactly.

493
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,960
OK, let's just keep on going BC
teacher disciplined after

494
00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:00,680
classroom dry ice explosion
explosion.

495
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,760
I love that.
Headlines.

496
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:06,560
Ohh, that's dangerous.
Well, yes, no one by the way.

497
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,520
No, as far as I know, no one was
hurt.

498
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,360
OK.
But.

499
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:13,520
That's AI want that teacher
because who doesn't want sploden

500
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,920
things?
What an experiment.

501
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,800
What happened at school today?
Stuff sploded.

502
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:19,640
I'm.
Bloated.

503
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,120
Yeah, in 20 years, every kid in
that class is going to be like,

504
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:24,840
you know what the best day of
school was?

505
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,320
So what?
Yeah.

506
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,120
Exactly.
Remember when this happened?

507
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,280
Absolutely.
Exactly.

508
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,080
A woman who wrote a book on
grief after husband's death

509
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,920
found guilty of murdering him.
That's a headline.

510
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,920
Real headlines don't draw
attention.

511
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,840
Like you think you're diverting
attention by doing that?

512
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,160
No.
That's not a headline, that's a

513
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,560
movie.
Yes, that is a movie movie.

514
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,920
Right there, that's a movie.
Yeah, premiering soon on the

515
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:56,040
Roku.
Channel Yeah, Real possum

516
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,480
appears among plush toy animals
in Australian airport.

517
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:03,440
Gift shop.
Wow mommy, I want that one.

518
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,760
I like that.
Tell me it bit me.

519
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,920
That's an actual headline.
Are possums docile?

520
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,400
Is that why it just got in there
and?

521
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,640
Sat No idea.
Wow, OK.

522
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:17,280
Opossums are Catherine O'Hara
though from the robot movie Wild

523
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,040
Robot.
Oh yeah.

524
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,320
I'm.
Moving on.

525
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,880
Sure.
Bring it down last night.

526
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,720
Honestly, that you.
Know this is getting fun?

527
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,200
University of Maryland
researchers create device to

528
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,960
track how often people fart.
Headlines.

529
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,080
Do we need that?
Apparently we need to track.

530
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:40,440
Apparently, I don't know, I just
thought it was nothing.

531
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,040
Not funny about, you know,
farts.

532
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,280
Farts.
I saw it's there and there's

533
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,760
some the sub headline of that of
like preliminary results show

534
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:54,000
it's anywhere between like 5 and
like several 100 per day per

535
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,640
person.
So it's quite a range.

536
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,720
Oh yeah, wide range YouTube
roasted for claiming he's

537
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:06,040
stranded due to Iran war, only
to then reveal that there are

538
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,960
seats available in economy class
but they're not stranded.

539
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,640
What?
Real.

540
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,440
Headlines.
They're too stranded yet.

541
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,240
Oh my God.
You're not stranded.

542
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,360
This is a good one too.
I like this.

543
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,560
ICE agents keep accidentally
shooting themselves.

544
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,240
Better them than anyone else.
Yeah, they act.

545
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,440
Yeah, they're actually.
That's an actual headline.

546
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,280
One told me how to use this gun.
Yeah, exactly.

547
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,040
I got no training.
Oh, we have a new subsection of

548
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,040
headlines.
This this part of headlines, how

549
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,280
did they do that?
Here we go OK, how did they do

550
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,000
that?
Headlines. 50 year old kickboxer

551
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:47,440
becomes first person in the UK
to pull a £4000 car using just

552
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:52,520
his testicles.
Headlines Apparently not the

553
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,400
first person in the world with
the first person in the UK.

554
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,600
Oh my God.
Can this be like sub sub of

555
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,000
like?
I don't want to know.

556
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,040
How they did that?
Yes, you may.

557
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,120
Can you like work those out and
get them to be more muscular?

558
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,160
I don't think they have muscles,
period.

559
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,520
Can we not ask questions about
this?

560
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,880
Look just boom on.
You're probably right.

561
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,360
Do we really want to know how
they get that headlines?

562
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:21,520
Woman sneezes out maggots after
fly larvae get crapped in her

563
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,520
deviated septum.
No.

564
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,120
Oh.
Real.

565
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:27,880
Headlines.
Oh, that's.

566
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,360
Why?
Oh.

567
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,280
How does that happen?
Well, exactly.

568
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,000
Step 1.
Cook the raw meat from the park.

569
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:36,920
How did they do that?
The park.

570
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,240
You're.
Do I have a deviated something?

571
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,200
Wait, there's.
More.

572
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,640
There's more quadruple amputee
cornhole player.

573
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,040
How about that?
Wow, I know.

574
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,520
Well.
Quadruple amputee cornhole

575
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,120
player accused of fatally
shooting man while driving.

576
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,720
That's an actual headline.
That's also a movie right there.

577
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,280
That's a movie.
I need to see how that's

578
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,520
happening.
How did they do that?

579
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,600
How is that happening?
How did they do?

580
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,080
That how do they drive, use a
gun and play cornhole.

581
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,800
I think you could play cornhole
with your mouse.

582
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,480
You could throw it with your
mouse.

583
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,720
Can you?
Do both the other activities

584
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,280
with your mouse.
I don't know.

585
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,760
One more deaf woman removed from
Frontier flight for not

586
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,200
listening.
What?

587
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,360
Exactly.
Headlines, guys.

588
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:34,040
When I say how did they, how did
they do that, I'm saying how did

589
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,080
the flight crew do that?
Yeah, yeah.

590
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:37,800
Why was it a Dick?
Move.

591
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,080
Yeah, it's really not very.
Terrible.

592
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,400
Yeah.
All right, off to Florida we go.

593
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,840
It's time to go to Florida.
Florida bill to ban marrying

594
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,600
first cousins fails to pass.
How?

595
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,920
Why is that failing?
Because of course it did.

596
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,160
Why is that failing?
Real headlines.

597
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,760
Why was it already allowed?
Yeah, well, it failed to pass.

598
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,880
Florida man armed with an axe
arrested after a car wash

599
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,240
conflict.
That's an actual headline.

600
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,960
That's a new one.
I mean, that is a new one.

601
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,440
Yeah, that is a new one.
Heard that one.

602
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,840
No, there's no alligators or
being drunk or naked involved

603
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:13,800
in.
The Bath assault.

604
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,240
Actually, there should have been
axe headlines.

605
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,720
Here's another axe wielding
naked Florida man caught on

606
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,600
video trying to break into home
after just being released from

607
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:24,400
jail.
Yes.

608
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,320
All of that tracks headlines.
All of that.

609
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,200
I do expect that in Florida.
Only thing missing was the

610
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,440
alligator.
Yeah right.

611
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,080
It was the only thing.
Yeah.

612
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,880
Florida woman accused of peeing
on and destroying property

613
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,360
valued at $3000 in multiple
Airbnb.

614
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,000
Wow.
Real headlines.

615
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,400
You just.
Both yourself.

616
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,120
Do not ask why you don't want to
know why.

617
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,440
OK.
Trust men and you.

618
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,240
Don't want to know why.
Gross, you know, but.

619
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,480
You know, I could add it has to
do with only fans, but I

620
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,560
wouldn't, I wouldn't go, I
wouldn't go there.

621
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,160
They have bathrooms, OK.
She's just claiming her

622
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,400
territory like.
A cat like mine.

623
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:05,640
Dog.
Yeah.

624
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,080
Mine.
That's mine now.

625
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,800
Florida Man Florida Man
Pickleball brawl well, involving

626
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,680
up to 20 people results in
paddles to the face and felony

627
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,560
charges.
Wow, I'm yes.

628
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,360
Is it all old people in like a
retirement community?

629
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,480
I would have.
Called that a pickle brawl if I

630
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,960
was writing a brawl.
A pickle.

631
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,080
Brawl.
Better headline.

632
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,440
That's an actual headline.
Florida man walks out on bar

633
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,280
tab, comes back the next day
because of a forgotten phone

634
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,560
charger and gets arrested.
Yep, Yep.

635
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,680
Headlines.
Yeah, if you're going to dine in

636
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:44,120
Dash, you cannot ever go back.
Well, at least not the next day.

637
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,000
Yeah, you know, you know.
True.

638
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,720
Give it a while.
Apparently couldn't afford a new

639
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,720
charger on Amazon so.
We couldn't have worn dinner

640
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,400
either, so.
Another new subsection of

641
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,840
headlines.
This one's called What's in a

642
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,320
Name?
OK.

643
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,680
Florida woman named Booze
arrested for DUI after crashing

644
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,960
into Taco Bell.
Real headlines.

645
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:10,960
Just said Florida man named
Shaft Bang Adams caught hiding

646
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,120
meth.
Shaft Bang Adams caught hiding

647
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,040
meth in his penis.
That's an actual headline.

648
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,400
How?
How are you hiding it?

649
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:22,760
Doesn't matter.
That's funny.

650
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,400
Come.
On what's that name again?

651
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,440
Shaft bang boom.
Chef Bang Adams.

652
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,080
Adams.
OK, chef Bang Adams.

653
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:31,840
Well, he has to have a last
name.

654
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,520
He's.
A complicated man.

655
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,640
He's got meth hiding in his
penis.

656
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,200
That's.
Right, you write the song for.

657
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,040
OK.
Florida man tries to smuggle

658
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,920
thermos into jail inside his
rectum.

659
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:50,840
A whole thermos headlines.
Remember when we played butt or

660
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,400
bust?
Yes, of course.

661
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,560
Thermos.
I did not anticipate thermos.

662
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,800
Thermos, but honestly.
That's big.

663
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,560
After doing that, who wants to
use that thermos?

664
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,680
I mean.
Look at the shape and size of

665
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:05,360
this.
Thermos.

666
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,920
There you go.
All right, just a.

667
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,160
Travel mug.
To me a thermos is bigger, but

668
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,120
that's still too big.
OK, let's move on.

669
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,200
Still too big.
You know, now that you analyze

670
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,720
the shape of this one I'm
holding in my hand this style.

671
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,960
A swell might work best anyway.
Showing that here we go.

672
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,960
Florida man prisoner facing
felony charge after sneaking

673
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:31,640
away from a signed jail.
Work duty at Sheriff's BBQ to

674
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,520
have sex with a woman in a porta
potty.

675
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,360
I'm not reading that again.
I'm not reading it again.

676
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,080
There's a lot.
There, there's a lot.

677
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,240
There is a lot going on there.
Just rewind.

678
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,160
Just go back and listen to it
again, OK?

679
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,880
Porta potty isn't where I would
have chosen well, but I get that

680
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,520
it's private.
We met the Chief's BBQ.

681
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,200
We're outside, it's.
Florida.

682
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:55,040
Where are you gonna go?
Yeah, where are?

683
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,240
You gonna go when the mood
strikes?

684
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,920
I guess so, yeah.
Any port in the storm or porta

685
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,360
potty I guess.
But it smells and it's.

686
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,200
Grown.
I wonder where they found the

687
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,000
meat for that BBQ.
You're not in the mood anymore.

688
00:34:09,639 --> 00:34:13,080
Rose.
OK, one more Florida Man burns

689
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:17,080
boat, gets rescued, then throws
sea tow captain overboard,

690
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,360
causing sea tow captain to shoot
Florida Man.

691
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,600
What's the sea tow captain The.
Guy that saved him.

692
00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:27,840
Oh, the tow boat.
Yes.

693
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,880
And he shot him.
That's an actual headline.

694
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,239
No the.
Florida man threw him over?

695
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,880
Never mind.
That's a lot.

696
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,760
It's funny, Rachel.
Just let it.

697
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,520
You've got to let it go.
I'm just trying to wrap my brain

698
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,800
around it.
These Florida men don't make any

699
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:49,320
sense to me still.
Well, I can anticipate some of

700
00:34:49,320 --> 00:35:05,160
them.
This is due to Wonderwhelming

701
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,600
Demand, the podcast with Dave,
Rachel and Foreman, brought to

702
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,680
you of course by Keenan and
Keenan Handyman Services.

703
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,960
If you need something done,
they're the ones.

704
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,080
They're the ones, they're the
ones they can help you around

705
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,240
the house, inside or outside,
whatever, whatever you need.

706
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:21,680
So you can check the show notes
for their contact contact

707
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:22,920
information.
There you go.

708
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,240
And if you know somebody or you
yourself would like to sponsor

709
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,960
this fine podcast, it's easy to
get a hold of us.

710
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,280
We're all over social, social
media, but of course we have our

711
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:35,160
website underwhelming.ca.
Everything you need is there if

712
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,480
you just want to buy a shout
out, if you want to contact us,

713
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,600
if you want to leave a
voicemail, it's all there on our

714
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,840
website underwhelming.ca.
We love hearing from you and

715
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,880
this is when we can talk about
all of your emails and voice

716
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,160
notes and whatever.
We got a message from Jan and

717
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,240
John, who purchased an
underwhelming coffee mug.

718
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,560
Yes, they did, which is a 20 oz
mug.

719
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:01,120
So I didn't want to have like a
small dinky little thing, right?

720
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,080
This is a 20 oz mug, she says.
I've seen it.

721
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,360
We received your underwhelming
coffee mug.

722
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,360
It's a great size and great
quality.

723
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,320
Thanks for having them as part
of your merch from Jan and John.

724
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,240
Yeah, I have seen that mug.
Oh yeah.

725
00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:15,640
Because I do know Jan and John
and I've seen that mug, and

726
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,560
that's one big ass mug.
Is it?

727
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,880
Yeah, that's what I need when I
have my coffee.

728
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,400
John.
So he's gonna get 1.

729
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,480
John is the guy that's not
drinking coffee because of Lent,

730
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:29,200
although by the time I'm over,
well, it's almost over.

731
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,400
And I'll tell you what, if he
uses that mug.

732
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,640
He's the whole crap.
Yeah, he's not sleeping for a

733
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:36,760
week.
That's gonna be.

734
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,120
Required.
Yeah, I will have that much

735
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,320
coffee in a day for sure.
I'm telling you right now,

736
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,080
there's one kick ass big mug if
you want a.

737
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,880
Big overwhelming mug You want to
get the underwhelming?

738
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,960
It's an underwhelming mug.
That's overwhelming.

739
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,080
It really is.
Yeah, I want to see a picture

740
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,680
compared to other mugs like
smaller regular.

741
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:54,240
Mug.
Yes.

742
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,240
OK, well.
I need them to send like a

743
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:59,760
comparison photo.
OK, a big mug and a sea of

744
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,080
little mugs.
Regular.

745
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,840
I'm pretty sure that if Jan
stood next to the mug it would

746
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:08,280
dwarf her, but I'm not.
I can't positively say that.

747
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,640
Yeah it's a big mug.
Well order it and underwhelming

748
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,280
not CA.
You can also buy us a coffee, a

749
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:18,040
virtual coffee as Pam bought 6
recently Same thing, Pam.

750
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,000
Yeah, thanks for the laugh seat
we each week.

751
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,960
But I think if you put all six
coffees in that mug, there's

752
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,520
still room for more.
That's right.

753
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,200
That's.
Very true.

754
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,840
What I need as a coffee drinker.
Nobody wants a dinky little

755
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,160
coffee mug except our former
engineer Greg, who would buy the

756
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,640
teeny tiniest coffees from Tim
horton's every day.

757
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,480
And.
Was the only person disappointed

758
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,320
when they discontinued the extra
small?

759
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,640
Yeah, he liked the he.
Was disappointed.

760
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:43,240
You're right.
Yeah, you.

761
00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:44,560
Didn't want to have too much
caffeine?

762
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,120
You didn't want to get jumpy.
Yeah, he's like, no, it's too

763
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,720
much.
It's more than this is too much.

764
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,480
Well, Speaking of getting jumpy,
Aaron has a message for you,

765
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,280
Dave.
Oh that starts it with if it

766
00:37:55,280 --> 00:38:00,000
makes you feel better about your
raccoon, My dad had a raccoon

767
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:04,840
follow him in the house without
him knowing and it was walking

768
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:08,280
around the kitchen knocking
plants over and eventually

769
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,720
climbed up the kitchen cabinets
and was looking down at him when

770
00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:16,520
he found it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

771
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,680
I'd run out of the house.
Right, another time.

772
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,480
Now this is a different there's
two.

773
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,360
Raccoon Stories.
Another time my brother was

774
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,080
house sitting when they were
gone and he forgot to shut the

775
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,960
front door so a raccoon walked
in the house and got upstairs to

776
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,400
the bathroom and it was climbing
the window trying to get out

777
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,040
when they got home from vacation
and my mom walked into the

778
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,480
bathroom getting ready for bed.
Oh no.

779
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,880
Oh my God.
Well.

780
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,280
How did they get them out?
They just opened the window on

781
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,680
the screen and I.
Hope so.

782
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,640
I don't know, I hope it was that
easy.

783
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:52,480
Let them in.
Never.

784
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,040
Let doors close.
Yes, well, that's that's good

785
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,640
advice, you know, because your
kids probably leave doors open,

786
00:38:58,640 --> 00:38:59,800
don't they?
Wow.

787
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,240
Well, yes, they do actually.
And the neighbor kids come over

788
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,720
and they all leave it open.
Yeah, well, and I'm like, girls,

789
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:07,280
everybody.
So what have you?

790
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,320
Now you can tell them we don't
want raccoons.

791
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,440
We don't want raccoons, Yeah.
Exactly.

792
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,720
OK, we were talking about
sleepwalking last episode and

793
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:18,800
Debbie has sent us an e-mail
about sleepwalking.

794
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,400
I was a sleepwalker when I was a
kid and I have two stories about

795
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,920
it which Foreman may or may not
want to hear if his daughter is

796
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,680
sleepwalking.
My sister, who's four years

797
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,240
older than me, told me once she
was having a slumber party in

798
00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:33,720
the living room and they saw me
walk back into the house.

799
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,920
They didn't see me leave, but
they saw me come back in and

800
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,640
then my dad caught me once
hanging out of the bathroom

801
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,160
window.
Not sure how far out.

802
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,320
Both of these events occurred in
the same house where we lived

803
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,040
when I was 6 to 10 years old.
Not sure exactly how old I was,

804
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,560
but obviously pretty young.
Thankfully I survived and I

805
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,560
don't sleepwalk anymore.
Wow.

806
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,680
I think I think a lot of kids
sleepwalk because I did and my

807
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,680
my kids do.
Well, Julia does.

808
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:05,120
Well, I hope I never do.
I don't want to be.

809
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,200
Not as, not as an old person.
No, not now.

810
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:10,000
I don't want to be hanging out a
bathroom window.

811
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,400
She also says regarding the
gentleman that followed Ashley

812
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,600
around the grocery store asking
for advice, did you ever

813
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,320
consider he was trying to hit on
her?

814
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,920
I've heard that the grocery
store is a great place to meet

815
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:23,720
people by striking up a
conversation about produce or

816
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:26,600
whatever, and that's what I
think what was was happening.

817
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,880
Obviously he struck out, though.
Yeah.

818
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,440
I mean, I mean, look at her.
Of course anyone's going to be

819
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,640
trying to hit on her.
I mean, she's lazy.

820
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,120
She's beautiful.
Yeah.

821
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:37,880
They just don't know that she
mushes up all her.

822
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,280
Food well done, yes?
Tries not to chew.

823
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,320
Until she tells them about her
game, they're right in.

824
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,200
Years later, yeah, but by then
she's got him.

825
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,600
Yeah, she's got him.