The One That Ruins Christmas: Part 2 (Ep. 105)

0:00 Oh, we were also going to talk about the Little Drummer Boy Challenge. I have that in here for some reason. Oh, so I've heard it three times and I've taken a picture each time. Today it was Joan Jett's version. Who knew she did that? You're. Getting the good stuff. What are you listening to? Jimmy Fallon's holiday channel on Sirius. Boy, I'd be all over that. There's your problem right there. Probably would be all over that. Well, there's your problem right there. I've I'll bet Joan Jett's version of Little Drummer Boys A1. It's not, which is why I didn't want to hear it, not which is. Why you shouldn't be listening to Jimmy Fallon A. Lot of other holiday there's either traditional holiday which is Jim Neighbors or Jimmy Fallon holiday or I can't remember what the other channel is so it's only Jimmy Fallon holiday. No, I heart the holidays and you get you get everything you need you.

0:48 Don't listen to I Heart I. Listen to the classic. In my car, that's what I listen to. That's why you're, you got mice in your stove. They're saying please turn it on. Yes, turn that off or turn this on. Turn the. Stove on. Yeah, kill us. I was cooking that day. I'll tell you what, I had a lot of fun with our classic bit. Where is it snowing this past week? Well, I bet. You did. Did. You find out where it wasn't snowing. I did have a couple of people informed me of where it was not snowing. Yeah, don't tell me where it's not snowing. Yeah, not the game. That's not the game. Hey, this is due to underwhelming demand.

1:30 The podcast that. Brace yourself, guys. Looks like we're on the naughty list. Yeah, although I would like to plead our case, Foreman. We didn't organize a murder mystery for two, you know, preteens. We didn't put up a sex swing. Please, please don't include. I mean, I think we know who's on the naughty. List Santa is anti sex swing. I did not say that Santa was anti. Well, I thought we were on the. Naughty list, but the Oves are. Oh, I see. OK, they don't like to. Make for a very good reason, Rachel, which we won't go into. OK, OK, alright, we are Dave, Rachel and Foreman.

2:12 Apologies for no new episode last week or whenever you download your podcasts. I couldn't talk. If you're not listening as soon as this comes out, this doesn't matter to you. No it doesn't. It's still episode 105, but we skipped a week. It just was because. Of Dave. It's a week late because I had a, you know, although I, I read on social media the the podcast been cancelled. I was like, what happened? How did it get? Cancelled you happy you got sick you couldn't. Talk. No, we just we missed the week. That's. Postponed. We're. Not we're still here. We did and we heard from you and thank you. Like Julie had said, she wanted you to get well soon, Dave.

2:53 Looking forward to listening next week. We'll miss you, but I'll try to make it through the week without you guys. It'll be a struggle, but I'll make it. Oh, that's nice. And Bob chimed in to say, by the way, too, get better soon, Dave, you should have had the flu shot. I did. Actually, I did get the flu shot. It wasn't that I had AII don't know what it was. It was one of those weird, you know when you get a cold, sometimes it's the full blown, you get the headache and you're all stuffed up and you're coughing and you're doing all of that. I had a little cough. That's how it started. It never really materialized. It got a little louder and a little more annoying, and then it got, you know, to the point where I was awake at night. But it was a cough.

3:34 That was it. But I lost out of that cough. I lost my voice, which is still a little raspy, but coming back slowly but surely. It sounds OK to us. Yeah, I feel fine now. And we're back during. Boy, I really wanted to talk. I really wanted to do the podcast last week because all of you people who are and I don't know where you are, but if you're dreaming of a white Christmas, slow your F and roll holy cow, like. Can we? Just a week or two ago, yeah. Can we just back up for a second? Can we just kind of, you know, maybe sing that song maybe one or three or or 500 times less? Yeah. Because. We got a dumping.

4:16 Well, you guys I'm sure got some snow farming. You're in Saint Thomas, Rachel, you're in small town nowhere and I'm sure that you guys got snow, but you didn't get I think Gravenhurst. I read the the mayor of Gravenhurst who's lived there 25 years or whatever said she'd never seen that much snow in in a short period of time. They got 140 centimeters. That's. Like almost. Five feet. That's 5 feet. Unreal. That's insane. That's unreal. But we caught starting on it. It began overnight Sunday into Monday, and then when it got up early Monday, I looked outside and went, oh, we have snow. And then I backed the truck out. I'm taking my wife to work and I back.

4:56 What kind of truck? A black 1 and I backed it out and I went, well, there's more snow out there than you really think there is. So I, I came back, I got about 15 minutes into my exercise and said, the hell with this. Where is my snow blower? Well, yeah, it's still snowing. Like you're out there doing it and you're in a snow globe like it's still coming down. It's the kind of snow that when my, when I was a kid, my dad and now Jeremy died, he goes out shovels just to kind of keep up with it so that you don't wait for it all. And yes, and then you're doing like exactly 2 feet at once, right? So I, so I snowball. I snow blew out the back. I snow. Yeah. You get that all done and then, you know, I'm back in the house and I'm like, I got a little bit of this cold.

5:40 Oh, I'm suffering. I better have a nap. So I napped and then when I get up, I, I, I looked outside and I went. It's still snowing. Is it ever going to stop snow? No it didn't. So the next morning my wife gets up before me. She usually gets up and works out. I get up at my normal time and I look out and, or I, I, I hear her coming in from the garage and I think, what's she doing out in the garage? Well, she decided not to do a little workout downstairs. She decided to go out and shovel half of the driveway, the half that the truck is, you know, in. I also seem to to live with people who are taking the opportunity for exercise and we only had two days we needed to shovel. The first day, Yeah, Harley did it. Yeah, I saw that I posted that.

6:22 And the second day Ashley did it. I haven't shoveled at all of your. Lucky man. Well, lucky man anyway, so. I usually do do a lot of shoveling. I haven't shoveled at all either, so. So I go around the front. Surprised by that? Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Now I gotta dig out this, this big ear of my front walk. Now it's not that five, but you know, you've got A and it's huge. And so I look over Boo hags out there and she's picking up the chunks. There are so and and it's a double driveway, right? They've got A2 car garage. And she's. Picking up chunks off of this stuff because you can't even shovel it. It's too heavy. Yeah.

7:03 And she's picking them up and tossing them, right. She's picked and she's shaking her head. And then she looks over at me and I, you know, I'm, I'm grinding with my, you know, but I get it out of there because I got a snow blower. It goes through and eventually it goes. Through. Yeah, it does. So then I think to myself. Should I go help? Should I be good neighbor and go over and help? Does Dave help Dave do what would? Dave, do you know I'm actually stumped on what you would do right now? Like, I don't know, she. Has been such a Dick to you guys, yeah. Yes. What do you think? Dave.

7:43 Did you? Being the nice guy and helping with your snow blower would probably go a long way to repairing some of that I. Think you were to describe me in a word you would say, sweetheart, I think both of. You obviously, of course, yes, that's the first thing I. Think no. I did. I think you, sweetheart. Did you help? I don't know. I was expecting you to say that she was picking up the ice chunks and throwing them onto your walk. That's what I expected too. I thought you were going to say she picked them up and threw them right in front of your snow blower. That wouldn't surprise me if she did, but. I know you're going. To do that, I think you pretended that your snow blower broke and you went inside.

8:28 It did not help. I'm going to do a vote for helping. You're closer to the truth form and then you are from the I didn't pretend my snow blower didn't work. I just put it back in the garage and I thought if I were to help her, if I were to help her, here's what I here's here's how I wrestled with this. If I were to help her, I feel like when I come in the house and I say to my beautiful wife Jenna, well I helped the Boo hag out. I dug her out, dug the bottom end of her driveway. She would have she would have lost her mind with Boo and said, are you crazy? The woman that called the city on us, the woman who is like this, you helped her. So I wrestled with it.

9:18 Yeah. But you kill her with kindness, she'll she'll regret all those terrible things, perhaps. If you helped. Down inside. Yeah, I think she would have some regrets for. Being wheeled back into my driveway, I got around into my driveway. I see my other neighbor who I like very much. His name is Gary, and he's out. He's got one of those big metal things, you know, that you push like the great big shovels, that's what. He oh the giant. Scooper shovel. Scooper shovel. And he's doing the bottom of his driveway with that. And I went, well, I gotta help him like I'll help him. I'll help you, Gary. Yeah, so. You get the wheel blower back out. Here, I'll, I'll help you dig it out. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't, no. This is my exercise.

9:59 Don't do it. I see you running all the time. That's your exercise. This is my exercise. This is what I do. I said no, I'll help. No, I don't want any help. Is that OK? So I went in and I went. Well, I feel better now. At least I offered to help someone, right? Offered one neighbor. I offered to help one neighbor. You know what, let this be a lesson to the Boo hag if you are going to continue to be an asshole. Well, nobody. 'S going to help you when you need it. The sign says karma is a bitch, yeah. But I thank you. Thank you for giving us one hate listen download every week though one hate listen. I don't. Think so? I don't think.

10:54 This is due to underwhelming demand. The podcast. That's like opening a Christmas present and getting underwear and socks. Just what I needed. Yeah, yeah. Something you really you really don't. Relies on his his annual Christmas underwear and socks gift for to get him through the year, quite frankly so. But it's something, yes, you really need that. Honestly, when you open it, you're like, great, thanks. This is what I want. Someone to buy me underwear and socks you. May need this podcast just like new underwear and socks, you're gonna. Get you may need it. Yes, you. May need it you. Need it like you need a new pair of undies. That's well, I wouldn't go that far. OK, well, you know what I didn't need recently is I know so good, so good.

11:43 Thank you. Thank you didn't. Need. I didn't need, yeah. Double negative segue. I you know what, I did not need to have happen. You know what I did not need? Is finding a mouse in the house, Yeah. Yeah. Happened last week and Jeremy wasn't home. It was just me and the girls. Even better, that was. So much worse. You don't even really have. So much worse. You don't even have to tell the story. Now you. Know what happened? Wait. A second It's Christmas time. Sit by the warmth of your fire while you listen to the podcast, and Foreman and I will do the same thing. Just pause for a second and imagine.

12:24 Imagine how this went with no Jeremy in the house and of most. Oh my God. And three, three of us girls. You don't even have. You don't even have to talk. That was exactly the same when it happened over here. That was exactly, yeah. Were you not there? No, I said no, I wasn't home. And I said you had sent a message about you didn't explain what happened. And we still don't know. You had just said we're having a mouse crisis over here and Jeremy isn't home. Yeah. And Ashley said you weren't home either. Why does this happen when you guys aren't home? And. You know where? And then you and then you're blamed. You are blamed for what happened because you weren't here. Exactly.

13:04 You, the mouse catcher, should be in the home at all at all times. How am I the mouse catcher You're. Nowhere. Nowhere not. Me. I can tell you that right now. In my case, on any business card that I've ever had in my life. Does this say really, if it comes down to Ashley and I, who's the mouse catcher, it's really her because in our case, it she found it dead in her sweater. Oh. My gosh, that she. Wore around the house and made dinner with. You were home that time, right? It was. Not home. Oh, I thought that was a different OK, I came home. Later in the night when she was a horrified and stripped down to nothing after cuddling with it on the couch. And it was. Dead on the couch.

13:45 Beside her. Oh. My no thank you. Yeah, Tom, last story rage. Well. I didn't cuddle with the dead mouse, no, it was very much alive. You cuddled with the live. Mouse. No, I didn't touch anything. Where was said mouse? So the girls and I were playing charades in the living room. We just were. We were just having fun. That's what happens when Jeremies not. It's kind of quiet, right? And which I've noticed, I think that's when the mouse comes out because when you're moving around, it's not coming out. How often do you play charades with the girls? Well, we have the kids charades thing and Julia was like, let's have a family game night. So we just, we did, I don't know, we might play it once a month. We just did.

14:26 So you pick a card and you do it. And anyway, it was fine. So we're playing this game and I all of a sudden I just happened to look over into the kitchen and I see on the stove there's a pot on the stove that hadn't been cleaned yet, but. Because Jeremy wasn't home, Yeah. That's right. Yeah, of course. Behind the pot, this little brown head pops up. And I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God. And the girls are like what? What? I'm like Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. And they're like what, what, what? So I'm trying to text Jeremy immediately and I'm like, there's a mouse and the girls are like, what? And they're screaming and I'm like, I know, like I feel the same. Like I also want to. Scream, you're supposed to keep things calm. I have to be the adult.

15:10 I know I hate that, But you don't have to be the adult. You can't be and this is what happens in my house again and say you see where they get it from. So, so Jeremy Facetimes me and I'm like, Oh my God. And then the mouse goes away. I'm like, where the hell did that mouse come from and where did it go? It's on top of my stove now. I have a gas stove, so it's got like the grate on top and it kind of dips down to where the burners are, right? So there's. No. How you deal with that? You have a gas stove, That's how you get rid of the mouse lighter up. No, fire it up right. I don't know how it's getting onto the onto the stove top.

15:53 That's irrelevant. It's not in the oven. You want that mouse to dance? Well, I didn't want it to jump on me. That's what I didn't want. I didn't go frigging near it. So that's like frad Pussycat. OK, I was not sliding a mouse on fire, although I probably could. Have like fire. I just. Well. You turn the burner on, it's fire. Well, yeah. Die immediately. Not necessarily, they're pretty fast. Yeah, so I screamed and it it ran away. So I think there, so the, I don't know how to explain this very well.

16:33 There's the stove top, right? But then the back of the stove, like where the clock is, it kind of it obviously connects. However, there's a space there that goes kind of in behind the the stove. Now I don't know if that goes into the oven below or if it like if there's a if it's like a wall between the back of the oven and the back of the stove. Do you know what I mean? It's hard. To find out. I'm not. I am not taking that thing apart. I cannot. Turn on the oven. Well. I guess. But again, we get back to making the most dance. We hadn't actually used the oven for two days because we were out for dinner the one day and then the next day I made like a chicken Caesar salad. So I already had the chicken and it was just all kind of cold. Leftover from the Swiss chalet.

17:21 No, no. Anyway, so we had that and OK, so the mouse goes away. So Jeremy Facetimes me and I am freaking out like, Oh my God, why is this happening to me right now? So and then I'm trying to text my neighbor because Jeremy's working until like 10:00 PM so he's not coming home and the girls are screaming and they're like, where did it go? I'm like, I don't know, is it on the floor? No, it's not. I just, I don't think so. And then my neighbor who is the other husband that I rely on is not home also, but his wife is texting me like ha ha, this is fun. And I'm like this like I'm freaking out and she's like I'm sorry, he's not home. So then I call She's. Not coming over to help 'cause she doesn't want to go anywhere near the no no. For sure not.

18:04 She's like, I would freak out too. I'm like, I know. So then I call my, the next nearest person is my stepdad who lives around the corner. So he, he comes over immediately, thank God. So he comes over and he sets up a bunch of traps and I, and I tell him where everything, where the mouse was. He's like, yeah, 'cause the mouse came out again, we saw the mouse again. He's like like, Oh yeah, I saw his tail scurry into the into that little opening then. So he set the trap. We set 2 on top of the stove and and then we put two under the stove because we didn't know if they were underneath. We took the drawer out, put them in and then to close the drawer. And so anyways, then so the girls at that point were out on the front porch.

18:46 They will not come in the house until this is taken care of. So I'm now inside by myself trying to be an adult with a mouse in the house. And I've heard if you see a mouse, if you actually see one, then you know you have a whole family somewhere. There's a lot more than just one. So now that freaks me out too, right? Canned confirm. Anyway, we ended up catching the mouse overnight. Jeremy came home, He's like, well, when I come home, don't worry, I'll deal with it. I'm like, yeah, you will deal with it because I'm not dealing with it. You're dealing with the dead mouse. And you're mad at him. I'm not mad, I just don't want to deal. With him you sound like you're mad at. Him. I'm. I am. You sound like you're mad at everybody.

19:28 Yeah, because I hate mice and I don't want them in my house. I don't. I'm mad that the mouse is in the house at all. But every time I screamed, the mouse would run away. So I know it's scared of us because it doesn't, it doesn't like my screens, so it would go back into the little hole that it's in. But I don't know where it had come from. Anyway, the next morning we woke up and the mouse was dead on the stove, so that needed a good cleaning because we did catch it in the trap and that's all we've caught so far. Just one. Just one I know. Then I then Jeremy went out and got, you know, spray foam and caulking and more traps and I was like, we are, we are sealing every hole outside. Make sure we put grates on the vents, things like that. I I just can't.

20:10 I can't with the mice and they all get in this time of year. Because of the snow. Yeah, it's starting to snow. It's cold I. I do you know the worst part about having mice is trying to set those little traps? Yes, I cannot. They're 'cause they're so flimsy. Yes, that they will crush your fingertips. But the the cheap ones are the best ones. Yeah I know but they will always not catch and slam on you and if you're not like I'm you shit like I've never shaken like that before then when trying to set traps. So when? You get setting the one and. Trying to put it with the process of it set in your hand and how do you get it off your hand and. Put it onto the floor without it snapping closed. Can't it's?

20:55 Like a 5050 shot. It's 5050 or worse. Yeah, Stu had to reset one probably 10 times, and then we're like, you know what, let's just use a different. One if you're trapping yourself form and there could be a problem. Here, those traps are so finicky they will snap on anything. That's why they're the best kind. But you got to make sure you don't snap yourself. Honestly, the stress of setting a mousetrap is like watching an episode of The Bear. I wouldn't know because I don't set them. I wouldn't know, says Rachel. Of course. The bear's not stressful. Did you watch the Christmas episode yet? Yes, but I didn't know. It's not that bad. It's not like having a mouse in your house. I'm going to tell you that right now. Just a car.

21:57 And for your listening pleasure, trip back in time to November 14th, 2017 with Dave Lindsay filling in for Rachel and Foreman on the radio. This type of thing, of course, would happen to Ashley. And when I'm not home but three in the morning or so, Ashley is awoken to hear not just scurrying from above our bedroom in the attic, no, but a. Thump. Thump, OH. Oh, that's not. Good not. Followed by scurrying is not good. Just an enormous amount of squeaking, not just like.

22:41 Oh dear. Cute, adorable squeaking. No, that's not panic, pain, torture, squeaking. Here at 3:00 AM. Yeah, she's pretty. Sure that, as you can imagine, whatever this is was running along in the attic and fell down into the wall. And just enjoy just enjoying life up in the attic and fell down well. Misstep. And she tells me all this over the phone. Well, I don't. It's in the wall. Maybe it climbed back up. But then I heard another thud. Oh dear. I don't know where it is. Is it still in the wall? Did it go back up? It's kind of sounds like it's near your side of the room actually. OK. I don't know where it is but after a little while it has stopped and she's calling me to tell me about this commotion.

23:26 So later in the day I get home get. Home. Yeah, later in the day I get home. I don't know. I stop and get some random like a couple of those snap traps for mice on the way home, crawl up into the attic, look around, and I see that since the last time I've been in the attic, boy, you can tell where they've been. They have been everywhere. Digging and stuff. Well, it's all blown in insulation, so you can see their little trails, their little mice highways, Oh dear. All the runways all over the place. And I can see one does go along the top of our bedroom wall where there is a gap where one definitely could have fallen in. So her story checks out.

24:08 Checks out so far. Later that evening after dinner, we're watching some TV on the couch. It's been maybe an hour. Yeah, she has a sweater on that had been on the floor of the bedroom all day. Oh, no, I don't even like where this is. I don't either. You're getting all squirt. You're getting squirmy over there. You're getting squirmy over there, Lee. And she'd already made dinner in the sweater. Been on the couch for a while in the sweater. Leans forward and notices right under her leg is a dead mouse on the couch. 4. Men a dead. Mouse on the just on the couch, just lying there that.

24:50 She's been sitting. There. How loud was the scream? I I feel her mind broke like she needed a straight jacket. I don't know what. She was saying. Honest, like it cracked her. It. Destroyed her spirit. It was complete utter chaos and commotion because she'd been sitting with this dead mouth. Disgusting. This is just so bad. Our theory is that fell down through the wall, escaped under a baseboard, and. Got some and. Hid, scared, panicked and injured inside the pocket of that sweater all day until they basically died in there. And then she wore it around the house for a while, made dinner all.

25:32 Right. All right. OK. Graphic. I got texts here. You really let's see here. OMG poor Ashley burned that sweater. Here's another. My massage yesterday was a waste of time because now I'm all tense again. And then there's I think I need to shut you off. There's also You Can Knock Me Over with a Feather after that most story. Well, it was a little discomforting. Did you get an expert involved? We had an expert come over yesterday. Good. He was so not concerned about any of it because they are definitely only in the attic. You know, he put some bait stations up there, he said. You will be amazed about how effective they are. You don't really need to go around your house and seal up every hole and crack you can find.

26:16 Unless you want some sort of comfort, I suppose. Because there's no house or building that is completely sealed, and it's not good for your house anyway. Yeah. How's Ashley? Is he OK with all that? Well, she, she did say last night, it's, it's funny now, but make sure when I tell this story, just make sure everyone knows how traumatic it was. It wasn't that funny. This is due to underwhelming demand. The ugly Christmas sweater of podcast. Of course we are. Yes, of course we are. That's us.

26:59 Underwhelming and ugly, yeah. Yes, yes, the two U's. Yeah, we are. We, we are, Dave. Maybe we're so sparkly it's off putting. Could be. I doubt it though. We are Dave, Rachel and Foreman. You're wearing one right now, David. I do, yeah. Oh, it's a Joe Cool. Sweater. Ugly sweater. Ugly it is. It's very ugly, yes. So is the elf that's visiting us right now. I like that. Okay, all right. Do we need a? Disclaimer here first. Yes. Okay. Are we going to talk? How are we going to present the elf? Okay, hang on a second for a minute. Are you about to, you know, like you did last year, destroy Christmas for all kids? That's what I do yeah.

27:48 Shrink 3 sizes today. That's. Right. You know what? I might actually ruin Christmas as well. I might pile on that. So OK, because I also have a story that I could tell. Those of you who've been wishing for little children, if you've been wishing for a white Christmas, we. You know what we think of you already, so slow your roll I. Like a white Christmas, just not a season's worth in a day. I like it. If we have a white Christmas, we get all that dumping when I don't have to drive. If I have to drive in it, I don't want it. Yeah, you know, like it. It just was getting. When you get that much snow, it's almost too much laughable. It was really laughable. OK, anyway, so slow your roll. On the children are out of the room, right? That's right, and get the kids out of the room, because here is the foreman who stole Christmas.

28:33 So what are we talking about here? The Elf on the Shelf? The Elf on the Shelf. Our daughter Harley, who's eleven, knows that it's just the toy, right? This is what we went through last year, right? She had gone to bed, everyone gone to bed and had just. Moved. Move the elf to a new location. Uh huh. OK. And it's right near the bottom of the stairs to go upstairs, where all the bedrooms are. OK, right. As Ashley's turning the corner to go upstairs, Harley's coming down suddenly. I don't know why she never gets out of her bed after she's already going to bed. Wow. And Ashley freezes, does not know what to do. Asks Harley. What are you doing?

29:14 Harley replies. I'm just going to get some water from the fridge. Ashley still has no idea what to do, knows what she's just done with the elf. So. She's already moved it. She's already moved it, it's not like it's in her hand. That's because you're not supposed to touch it, right? Nobody touches the elf and magically comes in and out every night. And reports back to the North Pole. I had no idea there were all these rules so. If you touch the elf, it loses its magic exactly you. Can't touch it. OK, wow, there's a lot. Of rules. So Ashley does not. She thinks, you know, maybe Harley won't notice. I'm just gonna go off up the stairs and think nothing of it. She noticed. She noticed big time and thought, well, that doesn't make sense. I knew something up was up with that. She put two and two together and went wait a second and. Then the next morning, I guess, well, I'm down here in the basement doing playing radio for Halifax, they're having a bawling conversation closed door in Harley's room about how we've lied to her, about how it's just a toy. Oh boy.

30:19 Starts asking questions about the big guy Ashley skirts around those, at least for now, but so she knows it's just a stuffed animal that we. Move. But it does actually made this year more delightful because she wants to help the elf do things on a daily basis for the enjoyment of her younger sister. Good. OK. Yeah, less stress on you, Yes. I feel like yes, but I also feel like this isn't gonna workout. There's been several real short, sharp quips of you better not ruin this for your sister. Yes, that's. What? I don't you dare say anything. Yeah, exactly. Because she still love it.

31:00 Like Emily will rise up out of bed and run down the stairs and like immediately go search for her and like, look. Where that is good. Yes. You'll hear that from 2 floors away. It's adorable and so as long as she can cling to that, the better. So far, her older sister is doing a fantastic job helping. Good, good. Except for earlier this week, and we don't even know how that we noticed after a night in the morning the elf didn't have a nose. Like it's a plush elf. It's a bigger elf than the usual elf, but it still is an official Elf on the Shelf. But the the.

31:41 Nose would be like a hard plastic piece and it was just gone. So she's got like an indent, like a Michael Jackson, if you will, that. Happen a Michael Jackson. I don't. That's quite sad. That's. Funny you can picture it. Yes, I can. I can do. Immediately, I know what you're talking about now. Yes, you do. OK, what happened to the nose? We don't know, so the nose is gone. You have mice. It it. I don't think so. Not, not. We already burned that house down, yeah. Don't take micey. OK. Plastic. No, I haven't burned mine down yet. No, yeah, so we, but I, I, it was Ashley setting it up this morning. So still set it up.

32:27 And so the elf is in the the the main floor little half bathroom sink fishing for little goldfish crackers with that. And she made like a whole fishing reel and everything. Noseless still. Noseless. Noseless, though. Jeez, we just move it around the house. Because we thought, well, I don't. I mean, what can you do now? Maybe Emily won't notice. First thing she saw this morning was where's the nose? Yeah, of course, we said. Are you sure Nose? Maybe. Maybe the alpha has been like that the whole time. You should just gaslight her and say I can see a nose it's right there. That's right. The gaslighting has already begun. When you go. Are you sure? Yeah. The nose is noticing. Yeah, that never. Had a nose.

33:09 I was pretty foggy getting up to the North Pole last night. She must have had an accident. Sure. Yeah, you could have set up a little game like, you know, got your nose with another stuffy or something like that. Could have. You could try. You could try. The oh, we didn't even notice. And then the the elf just never gets it back. Right. Yeah. OK, OK. I think I feel like that's a stretch. That's a bit of a stretch, Rachel. Well, we, I mean, we, it seemed to be OK for the day of starting with we didn't notice. Maybe it's been like that for a while and maybe she had an accident getting to and from the North Pole last year, but we've got to do something about this. So Ashley's looking up. OK, where you been? Buying Elf mid-december.

33:50 Like who needs to sell them mid-december? Like if we're going to get one, you already have one, right? Right. And this isn't your typical smaller elf. It's a larger plush elf. Still looks the same, just a little bit bigger. OK, turns out that exact model of ELF like this is like the killing the Crystal Spirit as we speak because that model of ELF has been discontinued. Oh no. You can't get that one now, you can only get this it a very similar one, but it's a plush nose that's sewn on. Yes, there was a problem with the nose with the discontinued ELF. Must have been. Oh my God. Oh, that's awful. OK, what are you going to do? Well, as luck would have it.

34:33 Uh huh. We found the nose in the carpet like it is tiny and Ashley found it in the carpet where it was, the near where it was the night before because that was my first thought, like it must be somewhere around there in this little tiny little bead. Basically we found it so. Good. Tomorrow morning the elf will be in a new location with a Band-Aid on her nose, and then the following morning she will once again have a nose. OK, good. You could. You know what I just thought of if you didn't find the nose. Now that you have, this is moot. A moot point.

35:14 It's very you could. Tell us anyway. Put the Band-Aid on and then give her a different bead for a nose like she had a nose job. Well. She's getting a nose job. She's getting a nose job anyway, but if it was a different one, then you know, that's when you get a nose job. You it's a different nose. Why? Why? Why don't you just? Follow up, Michael Jackson. Yeah, why don't you just have a Michael Jackson on the shelf? Full circle to the elf and get a Michael Jackson nose keeps falling off. Oh. That's OK. I can't wait to see how that plays out. Actually I want what? Color Will the Michael be tomorrow, Dad? OK, I have an elf on the shelf story. If you're if you're finished, are you finished? Do you have more 2? Very good.

35:54 Every, every are we? Leaving the nose. Job Every. Everything. Well, we haven't. Seen. She hasn't seen it with the Band-Aid, because that'll be for tomorrow morning, and then she hasn't seen it with the nose returned. On that, I guess you will, yeah. We will. OK, so my 11 year old Julia is same age as Harley. Our our girls are actually the exact same ages, Foreman's girls and my girls. So Julia's 11 last year there was two times where she asked me if Santa was real and we kind of got away with the first time I said yes, of course yes. And she's like OK. And then later in the season she asked again and I said, do you really want to know? And she said no super well, that's saying no, am I? Do you really want to know?

36:38 Is saying no. I said, do you believe Santa's real? She's like, yeah, I'm like, well, that's all that matters. Like that's and she's like, OK, so then this year we're actually getting ready for the elf to return. We're talking about it. We've I've put it in my calendar, like elf returns December 1st or whatever, right? So that I know the day before or the November 30th and I think she saw it in there and she's like the elf returns. I'm like, yeah, yeah, the elf comes back. Well, she comes down into my studio here December 1st and she's like, mom, I have to ask you something. I said OK, She's like, it's really been bothering me, OK. She's like, are you and dad moving the elf? And I said, do you really wanna know? Mostly, mostly your dad.

37:27 Mostly your dad. She's like I said, do you really wanna know? She's like, yes, like, Oh my God, yes. And I'm like, yes, we are. She's like, okay, good. I thought like it was. She was relieved to hear that. Yeah. And she was like, thank God, the whole. Elf on the Shelf thing is creepy. Right. So that day she was actually home. She was home sick or she was home doing something. She had a play that she was doing. So she might have been home by herself that morning and the elf was in the same room as her. And she said, I just been staring at that elf all day and the elf just staring at me. It's so creepy. And she's like, I just, I wanted to touch it and I was going to touch it because I think it's just a toy, but then I didn't want to touch it because if I touch it, the magic goes away.

38:10 So I almost did. And then I was like, Nope, don't do it. Julia. She's talking to herself and she's telling me this whole story about how she's I'm going to touch it. No, I'm not not. Yes, I am. No, I'm not. You know, she's going wrestling with this in her head. And then she tells me that in the summer sometime she was in the furnace room and she saw the Elf on the Shelf in the box. And she had asked me about that earlier. And I said, well, the elf, remember when we got the Elf on the Shelf and it came in a box? And she said, yeah, I was like, well, that's it, we still have the box. And then she was like, oh, and then the elf just stays there all, all year. I'm like, yeah, exactly. Like that's what the ELF does. No, it's supposed to have gone to the North Pole.

38:50 No, it stays in our box, Foreman. That's what it does. It stays in the box in the forest room. That's our story. We're sticking to it. Anyway, so she was she was actually like relieved to hear that, yes, we are the ones moving it. It's just a toy. And she'd obviously been thinking about this for a while and kind of and wrestling with it. But now it's kind of kind of it's come out. So when when we were talking, I said, now listen, now that you know this, you're in on the Christmas spirit secret, like you're in on it. So you need to help keep this alive for your sister. You can help us move it if you want. You can set up little things.

39:31 And she's like, OK, yeah, yeah, I'm going to. So now she's kind of on board with that. So I said, you can't tell Kendall because she's only 7 and she's she loves it too, right? So she was totally on board for that. And then throughout the rest of the day, she would say to me, Mom, when the elf was in a bubble bath full of marshmallows, that was you. I said, yeah, I did that. She's like, oh, you know, And then she would think of something else the elf did, and she's like, you did that. I said, yeah, She's like when the elf was climbing the wall with, like, RIP bows for presents, that was you. I said, yeah, that was me. And she's like, what? Like her mind was blown that like we did all this stuff. But now she's in on it, so I mean, and she actually loves being in on it.

40:19 So she'll be like Harley. We haven't left the nose yet though on ours. Best place to hide the elf in the offseason, by the way, is one of your old purses at the back of the closet. Yeah, because no one else will look at it and either will you. There you go. Perfect. This is due to Underwhelming Demand, the podcast where Dave, Rachel and Foreman and check out our website underwhelming.ca. It's new, we're working on it, but it's there. Go see it.

41:01 Yeah, we've got a lot up so far, including a new listener survey because we want to make sure that this podcast is something that you enjoy and you want to listen to, and we talked about things that you want to hear. So take our listener survey. If you go to underwhelming.ca, you'll see on the top navigation bar listener survey and you can just fill it out there. Yeah, you can sign up for our newsletter. You can sponsor the podcast or if you know somebody that would like to sponsor the podcast, podcast, it's easy to find how to do all of that stuff on our website. Or you can just write to us.daverachelforeman@gmail.com or anywhere on social media. We are minus the sponsor right now, so, you know, it'd be great if we could get 123 or 25.

41:43 Yeah. Yeah, so however many wanna come. You could even leave us a message through underwhelming.ca. Even leave us a voice message through underwhelming.ca. Yeah, you can. Yes, We've got everything on there. Yeah. Howie actually sent us a message through our underwhelming.ca, he says. Good day, Dave, Rachel and Foreman, thank you for your show. Always. I thought I would share with you this link from Facebook for inflatable Santa's, and it's a video of a humongous inflatable Santa in somebody's neighborhood. And then we were talking about anonymous posting on Facebook, he says. I've created a private group for the Strathroy Army Cadets, Cathroy 11 Army Cadets and I've turned off anonymous postings so it is possible. Being in charge of groups is a full time job. Luckily for me it's a small group. It is a full time you're.

42:33 You're like, it would be, it would be. That's. Ridiculous. And by the way, the, the big inflatables now, you know, and I'm, I, I told you that I'm not a huge fan of the inflatables, but my wife is starting to lean that way, which is bad news for me because eventually this might happen to me. But we were driving through a very, the old N neighborhood, the, you know, old North in London a very, and we're, so we're, we like to drive around and look at big houses and there are big, beautiful old homes there. You know, anyway, there's this one area where they all have the same inflate. These are Tony, beautiful old houses all decorated up with great big inflatable Santas.

43:18 It's all the same, all the same. And I thought, I thought to myself, good for you people. Yeah, I love that. But the update I have, I guess I haven't been able to share it with you guys, is that, you know, the Embro is trying to get the whole town on Ambro to do it. So there's, there's well over 200 Santas there. Wow. I took the Hard FM car through the Santa Claus parade in Embro and down you go down the Main Street and there's barely a single house without a Santa. I have to go. You just. So cool. And I tried. We had one and I was trying to rig it up to put it onto the roof of the car. Well, a couple problems. It was super windy that night and 12 when you think, oh it's a 12 foot tall Santa, you don't realize how Big 12 feet are.

44:07 It's. Big. Yeah, they're big. He turned into a sail, and then he tore wide open sail. Oh my. God that answered that question for me anyway. And besides, there's plenty of power lines going across the Main St. in Ambo, so even if I tried to put them up there it would have been a disaster. Right. Probably. Probably, although I would like to have seen video of that. Well, and the cool thing is I say. Video of it broken because you posted it. Exactly, and I took a video montage of all the not, not even half of the ones I saw documented of different Santas. They're great. But the cool thing about Ambro that I'll just say too is that they turn into a fundraiser. So anyone who had a Santa could put in like 10 bucks. Some of the businesses around the area were collecting donations.

44:52 You raised $8724. Yeah. Come. On Wow. All thanks to what you got the Grain Farmers of Ontario on board. Well, it's actually going to be more than that because grain farmers are going to bump theirs to 2000. Wow, so we're getting even more than 8700? Yeah. That's the way more than I would have expected. And you know what? Some people have offered more. Some people threw in what they had and it it just it takes a village. And there's a number of different charities. All that money is going to go help, right? Yes. So grain farmers, for one, are going to donate 1000 even to Operation Sharing 1000 to DASO. Amazing.

45:35 The OCFA was going to donate their entire 1600 to Operation Sharing and then the the local schools or a Highland Park public school is getting at least the same 1600 for their nutrition program. Wow. And then we have a local lady getting grocery store gift card and she's helping 11 families. As of yesterday, 11 families had anonymously asked for a bit of help. Very. Cool. We have an e-mail from Bonnie who says I've been listening to you guys again and I'm slowly catching up. I started listening from day one, but I fell off the bandwagon because, you know, life gets busy. That's OK welcome back, she says.

46:16 I moved to northern BC and shocker radio stations are slim pickings and radio signal is even worse in the foothills of the Rockies so Spotify has been my go to. I always used to listen to you guys on the radio station on my morning commute so catching up on the podcast gives me a reminder of some of the best parts in Ontario. Just finished episode 88. I must say I will never tire of the Foreman Windsor drama. Please never stop bringing it up. It makes me literally laugh out out loud every single. Time. We also never tire of that, Bonnie, so you don't have to be, don't have to worry about that. I also want to bring up Service Ontario because wow, is it garbage. Now that I've experienced something else, ICBC is incredible here. Not only is everything cheaper, but a lot of insurance brokers, municipal offices are ICBC agents so there's no lack of places to go and many are open past five PM, some open Saturdays and Sundays.

47:13 Since moving here I've realized Ontario's 25% worse than BC. All right. Ontario, the Saint Thomas of Canada. There you go, Saint Thomas of Canada. Thank you, Bonnie. That made me laugh out loud, all of that. So thank you. On the same subject as the the one that she doesn't tire of. Right. I did mention in the previous episode about how one time my mom served me raw chicken. Oh yes, yeah. Did she? She didn't send us an e-mail, though. No, but Jackie sent us a comment. OK. And all Jackie said was the raw chicken Foreman's mom fed him was probably cooked in the fucking microwave. Was it? Was it cooked in the microwave for me? Not completely clearly, Clearly.

48:01 So it was awesome. Oh my gosh. OK. Oh and I want to get with weed because this is getting older and older. It's a comment from John. OK. John had said Because you, Dave had the tale of John buying his wife Jan a scale. A scale, yes. The scale yes, for her birthday. For her birthday and it was all great and they're both still living together. Yes, they're very happy. Yeah, and they're married still. Yeah, still as far as I know, yes, last check as. Far as I know. John, just wanted to say a big thank you to you Dave for not telling the folks I gave Jan a low flow toilet for her landmark birthday 14 years ago.

48:45 A low flow toilet? Did he really? I I believe he told me that. That's amazing. John, you're the king of useful gifts. That's. Very useful, I mean. You're not, you're not clearly she not going to use that clearly. She needed a low flow toilet. Sure. It doesn't. I I I mean sure. What did she say? When she opened it, was she pleased? I. I wonder, I just, I want. I wish there was a video that I forgot. The first thing out of her mouth was, well, I hope it's low flow. Right. I hope it has a a soft closed. Seat. That's right. Better be low flow with a soft closed seat.

49:27 Don't ever think about giving me a scale after this for. Christmas she'll get a bidet, which might actually be OK. I would probably be all for that. I don't think a low flow bidet would do much for you though. No, if I get a bidet I want it to be as high flow as possible because otherwise what is the point? Who gave me a low flow bidet? I'm supposed to fucking pressure. All it's doing is making the floor wet. It's just spreading it around now. Oh.

50:10 God. What is it?